Today I (Teri) had a wonderful chat with Simone from GeniusYou and I can't wait to bring you a series of amazing events next month. I asked Simone a few questions on self understanding, our belief systems and why we often interrogate ourselves about ourselves. As Mothers we are always trying to do our best and it's tough...
Here's what I asked Simone starting with...
Why did you start GeniusYou?
I’ve wanted to create a programme that enabled people to be brilliance, for as long as I can remember. It is like this idea or desire has been the core driver of my whole life. It appears that everything I did before hand was to ready myself and to glean the knowledge that I needed to do this – and I did it.
I also started it because I didn’t want my kids to have the same experiences I did. By my early 20s I was riddled with shame. I wanted them to be set up. And because brilliance was the thing that captivated me, that’s what I used to get them there.
There was one other thing. My life wasn’t working in the way I wanted it to. I was a brilliant strategist but my life was like a roller coaster, I knew that if I didn’t learn how to make it work, it would continue being this way. So, I decided it was time to stop blaming the rest of the world and investigate me.
Tell us about the events and how Mums will benefit from them?
What we all want to do when we have kids is to fill them with love and set them up for a brilliant life. What I’ve discovered is that unless we are the greatest version of us, it’s actually impossible to teach our children to be the greatest version of themselves. There’s no denying that we can make improvements. But brilliance, well that’s another matter.
When we distill it down our job is to teach our children how to do life and to do that we have to ensure that we actually know. These events are about learning a new framework, to understand ourselves and those around us. So we can do this task, in my words strategically. What I mean by that, is with a plan, not a default position. Who we become as parents, is very much in reflection to the critiquing or approval we have done to our own parents. What I want for mums to get out of this event is a rethink and a re-possibility.
Are the events suited to all Mums?
Absolutely. It’s for mums that are itching to do it better. It’s for mind over matter mums because this is what the programme is about, learning how to harness the mind through the understanding of how it works. And I’m not talking about this in a scientific way. Rather a practical way that everyone can get.
Self understanding is something most of us, especially Mothers need more of. Why do you think this is a hard one?
That’s a good question. I just started working with a group of hairdressers and one of the first questions I asked is, how long does it take to train, the answer is 3 years and it’s ongoing. Well think about learning how to be human. And I’m not talking about reading and writing and getting a job. I’m talking about learning how to use our thinking, emotions, beliefs, how these things effect behaviour. Really vital parts. Learning how our traits and our drivers all work together. Well we don’t actively learn them. And by the time we go seeking, it’s actually only when they don’t work. So by the time we begin the process, we are actually hurting. In my words, in GeniusYou language we form a defence system. This system becomes more who we are than who we can be. So self-understanding and the way we are doing it, is applied to our defence system, not where it needs to be done, which means we just add plaster after plaster – making the task nearly impossible.
Can you tell us more about self understanding and a little on how we can master our own belief systems?
If I had only one thing to tell people. This is what I would tell them they need to understand.
Us humans, well we are creators, we create using our beliefs, thoughts and behaviours. On each topic, money, parenting, love, body, food, these elements work together. Its like a little unit. If our beliefs start negatively, well the thought and behaviour follow.
To master this we have to know the process. We have to see and understand it. Once we’ve got a process we can do it. The only thing that holds us back is emotions. Emotions are our first language. They are how we get to experience being human. And we need to learn how to use all of them. Each have a purpose.
Long story short, to flip a belief, we have to learn how to work with the accompanying emotion.
When we’ve spoken you’ve touched on how often we want to parent better than our own parents and how that’s not really the best thinking. Can you talk more about that?
Unless our parents were absolutely spectacular and set us up to fly in every sense of the word, teach us to have the career of our dreams and incredible work life balance, have no negative beliefs, understand our own magnificence, have healthy enduring relationships that satisfy us deeply, and unless we have achieved all of these things in our own life, then we are highly unqualified to become the parents of our dreams.
Actually there’s an even greater disadvantage and it’s a perception we all develop, it goes like this. As we grow, we critique our parents skills, and we form opinions that if our parents didn't do ‘a, b and c’ we wouldn’t form the ‘issues’ that we have. It gets worse, We also the form the belief that if we do 'd e and f', then our own children will be great and awesome and sail into adulthood without the limp we accrued.
The truth, well, our parents once thought the same and when we see our kids hit their teenage years, when things begin getting real, we will discover this when we see that our children aren’t flying in the fashion that we had originally assumed and our relationships don’t look like what we wanted them to be.
To achieve everything we all want to achieve out of life, we have to understand ourselves at a deep enough level that we know how we work. And if we want our kids to achieve the same, then we have to teach them that too.
But we have to begin with us, or, our fabulous children and all their brilliant potential will fall into all the crap we haven’t yet resolved.
Why do think we are often interrogating ourselves about ourselves as Mothers? I find myself doing this a lot especially with three kids and trying to do all the “right” things with them and how my behaviours effect them. Being present as much as I can which is hard. Do you think motherhood has always been like this?
This goes back to our defence system. It all begins with an untruth, which is a thought we developed about ourselves a long time ago, like we are bad. The way our defaults work, is something triggers this, like disciplining our children, hits this untruth. We are threatened and we move into defence. It’s like a compensation to take us away from the untruth. Let’s say our thoughts or inner voice communicates to us, to do the right thing, what ever our version of right is and instead of being able to give our kids and us what we need, what we are actually doing is working to not hit the beliefs in ourselves that we don’t like to feel.
This is limiting. Not only to us but to our children. Overcoming these things is the answer. Or each generation always has another version of what’s right in order to not hit the belief that makes them feel bad. We are not actually improving anything, we are just working out the next version of what we consider is good.
Being present is the latest. And I’m not saying it’s bad. Of course not. What I’m saying is more powerful is to resolve the limiting things about ourselves so we don’t need to add another supposedly better way.
Can you tell us about some of the people you’ve worked with and the positive outcomes they’ve found after doing the GeniusYou programme?
It is vital to me that all people can do GeniusYou. My latest round includes a farmer and father who used it to overcome anxiety. A nurse and mother who is starting her first business. A teacher whose lit up again, like a Christmas tree. A lecturer who is used it to resolve childhood trauma that he was accidentally repeating.
Over the seven years of creation I’ve worked with over 150 people. And it’s just got more potent as it’s developed. And that’s an important factor for me. I don’t want to stop it’s evolution. I want to keep on getting better.
Thanks Simone, I can't wait to help Mothers change their belief systems and gain self understanding which has a flow on effect in so many areas of their lives.
The reason Maria and I started MOMM is because we believe it’s so important for Mums to take time for themselves in order to be a better Mum. From experience we truly believe that even 30 minutes of alone time or doing something for ourselves can make a huge difference to our day and that we have to do these things without guilt. I think your events will definitely help those struggling to take care of themselves, those feeling that Mum guilt often and those with limiting belief systems will really benefit from your events and am so excited to be working with you! Who doesn’t want to be doing life better, have better belief systems, self understanding and better relationships.